Say Yes and embrace the impossible!

Jessica Gordon Ryan/The Entertaining House

Jessica Gordon Ryan/The Entertaining House

From the day I got divorced I have made it my mission to embrace the impossible... to step outside of my comfort zone, to seize new opportunities and to not say no.  Life is meant to be lived. How can you live if you're constantly turning down new and amazing opportunities? Pushing myself out of my comfort zone is not easy for me to do at all, but when I do I am never disappointed. Each new experience, each new person I meet gives me inspiration. From these experiences and from these people I learn. I learn about others and I learn a great deal about myself.

Even as a young child I loved to people watch. People have always fascinated me. I could sit on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art and watch the passersby for hours on end. I can do this anywhere... at the beach, the grocery store... at the airport. I've travelled a great many places and am incredibly fortunate to have done so. In the first year of marriage alone, before my daughter was born, my husband and I traveled to Bermuda, the Bahamas, London, Paris, Florence and Rome. We learned, we lived and we created a lifetime of memories. Memories that are still very much alive. Travel does that.

And then suddenly, seemingly overnight, my nerves turned into fears. And the children were born. I think my greatest fear in life is losing my children, or having them lose me. And for some reason I equated this fear with flying. And then 9-11 happened and the world changed. And I lost all desire to travel and see the world. My goal was to protect my babies and watch them thrive. And the babies turned into small children and the small children turned into bigger children and protecting them was no longer the right thing to do. Children must grow and spread their wings. They must see and do things. They must take chances and make mistakes. They must stumble and fall. And they must learn how to get back up again. How could I, as their mother, teach them how to do all these things when I had become a prisoner to my own fear? How could I set them free and tell them to travel the world and see and taste and touch and feel all the beauty within when I couldn't? And so, when they were little, as a family I hopped aboard planes with them. Perhaps I felt better in knowing that if something were to go wrong we'd all be together... forever... They'd never have to be without their parents and we'd never have to be without them.

And then their father and I got divorced. And their world changed. And my world changed.

I needed to become myself again. I needed to be someone other than Mom. I needed to be writer, photographer...  I needed, somehow to become a traveler again. I travelled the first year, by car and by boat. I went places I had never been to before, on my own and with others. It was refreshing and eye opening. I was seeing that there was a much larger world out there. I was seeing that there was a world I needed to become a part of again. I needed to taste the wonderful flavors and experience the cultures and to witness the art and the history. A dream came true for me last September. I was invited to be a part of small, carefully selected group to travel to London to experience, write about and share all things art, architecture and lifestyle. I knew this was a once in a lifetime opportunity - one that couldn't, mustn't be missed. I stared fear in the face. I boarded the plane to London and as a result had a life-changing, life-lasting experience. Imagine if I had let fear win? I was recently asked to travel to Las Vegas. For a moment I thought about the travel and before I could even talk myself out of it, I jumped at the opportunity and booked my tickets. There'd be no backing out that way.

Very recently a text appeared on my phone. "Ready for an adventure?"
I replied. "Always."
And then "How about breakfast on Block Island?"
I told him, "Sounds fun!"

I was pretty certain we weren't driving there.
I was pretty certain we were going in a teeny tiny plane.
With propellers.
And no flight attendants.
I knew what I was getting into.
I was eager. Excited even. And very nervous. Not so much fearful now as nervous.
Well, maybe a little bit fearful.

I brought my camera with me. My camera allows me to focus and not worry. I see the finer details. The beauty within - the beauty all around. I think in this case my camera might have been my security blanket. Just maybe...

We climbed onto the wing of the plane and then into the cockpit. I was up front. With the steering wheel and all the controls. I was strapped in. So tightly that I was slightly uncomfortable. "In case we get banged around." In case of what?? But I still wasn't nervous. This incredible calm came over me. I am not a calm person by nature. At all. Never have been and I don't think I ever will be. And yet here I was in this completely relaxed state ready to take flight. The engine revved and the little plane shook just a bit. I was given step by step details explaining every little move, every little step. We went to the end of the runway and before we could count to three we were off, and up!

It was choppy up there. It was quite turbulent in fact. But I felt this incredible calm when normally I wouldn't have. I felt safe. I was in good hands. The beauty around me was breathtaking. Staggering. Magnificent. Maybe there were angels all around me.

We landed perfectly despite the gust 40 knot winds wanting to push us off course. We enjoyed a lovely breakfast and then back to the plane. I couldn't wait! I couldn't wait to get back into the plane and let her lift me back up... off the ground, like a bird soaring gracefully into the sky. That's what it felt like almost. Like a bird. Completely free. Wild and free. I felt like a caged bird who had finally been set free.

And so from here on in I have decided that I will say yes when it is easier to say no. I will jump at new opportunities and take chances. There's just too much to be missed if I don't. I shall lead by example. How, after all, can I tell my children to see the world, if I won't see it too?

Jessica Gordon Ryan/The Entertaining House

Jessica Gordon Ryan/The Entertaining House

Jessica Gordon Ryan/The Entertaining House

Jessica Gordon Ryan/The Entertaining House

So do yourself a favor, next time you're tempted to say no, please say yes. You'll never know the opportunity you could be passing up!