Sometimes it's not the big things in life that are trying... but the small ones!
Quote by AA Milne
via Curiosities by Dickens
via Curiosities by Dickens
Sometimes it's not the big things in life that are trying, that test our strength and limitations, but the small things. Now, as a single woman and single mother I'm re-learning how to be independent and self sufficient. This may seem like no big deal, but when you marry, or live with someone, you tend to rely on your partner in many ways you might not ordinarily realize. It could be something small like zipping up the back of the dress or changing a hard to reach light-bulb or lifting something extraordinarily heavy.
Yesterday was a doozie of a day that just started off on the wrong foot and went steadily downhill from then on. My youngest has turned into a Class A Brat. And this doesn't help matter. It simply makes my thin patience thinner. It makes me wanna holla. And trust me I did. Several times. I know, I know, they say yelling is ineffective but really, talking reasonably is ineffective. As are giving 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chances. And then I have to blow.
We had a lovely day planned so I was hopeful that after my lousy morning things may start to turn around. This does happen from time to time. And so after what I thought was really a nice lunch at a fabulous pizzeria in town with good friends, we headed off to a small local paint your own pottery studio. Before-hand I told each child that they could choose a piece up to and no more than $15. That and studio time would cost about $50, I explained. I believe in teaching them the value of a dollar. They need to know how far the dollar goes, what they can get for it and and, more importantly that each little dollar spent here and there all adds up. When I grew up money was never discussed. I didn't really understand much about it or how to balance a checkbook until I was out on my own and even still it was sort of a struggle. Now, with a tight budget I do not want to forbid the children from doing everything, but they need to know that sometimes we all need to make compromises. The pottery was a perfect example.
In past years I would have been more generous with the pieces they painted, perhaps even let them paint two pieces, but times are different now and this is our new normal. And I do not think that what I am doing is a bad thing at all. Kids need rules and boundaries. The older two understand fully and rarely ask for things. The youngest is not this way, however. And I do get it. He doesn't understand and so I must give him some slack on that front, however, when I say No, I firmly mean No. At the pottery studio Alexander couldn't make up his mind. There was something he had really been looking forward to painting and the studio was out of stock. He was so disappointed and I felt terribly so we all started to make other suggestions and give him other ideas. He liked none of them. He was upset and getting a bit bratty about it. Then his eyes spied this enormous porcelain Christmas tree. THAT's what he wanted to paint! That's what he would paint! Until we learned that it was a $50 tree and pardon me, but no way in hell was I going to allow him to paint a $50 tree! And so more pouting and whining ensued, and the whining was really escalating and I tried my best to reason with him and keep my cool because we were out in public but I was getting more and more irate by the minute. So finally he agreed to paint something. He said he wanted to paint a travel mug for my coffee. I was delighted! Excited. I love the things my kids make for me! And suddenly we were into the second hour of pottery. Alexander was now painting happily. Once all was said and done I went up to pay for the three pieces the kids had painted only to learn that their three small pieces cost me over $75! For real!
Suddenly Alexander wants to give the travel mug to his father. I agreed it would be a perfect Christmas present, but no, Alexander didn't want to give it to him for Christmas... No, no, of course not! Because Alexander is in the mood lately to be difficult and challenging. But after all that I really didn't want to give my mug away. I really didn't want to give my $75 mug away for no apparent reason! Alexander had yet another hissy fit. This time older sister spoke up. She told him to stop it and to stop it now. She told him that he should be grateful of the things I do for him. And that if his father wanted a mug he could take them all to paint pottery. I thought she handled that perfectly. And she actually managed to get him to be quiet for a moment.
We got home shortly thereafter. I think it was 4:00 and yet it felt like 7:00. It was one of those days you wished would just be over. At the gas station on the way home I split my nail down the middle. Do you have any idea how hard that is to fix? Once back at home I went right to my desk to get the crazy glue. It wasn't there. Of course it wasn't. Nothing is ever where it belongs. I have told the children again and again and again to lay off my things. But they don't. Someone got a hold of the crazy glue. I know exactly which Someone it was. The same Someone that somehow got a hold of the key to the safe deposit box at the bank. The safe deposit box that has all the children's IDs that we need to register them for school. And finally I could stand it no longer and meltdown number 3 ensued. Whoever said that yelling was not effective was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Dead wrong. Someone understood and understood clearly. Within minutes my crazy glue AND the safe deposit box key appeared, allegedly, from nowhere.
It's been a long, hot and humid week. We're all at wits' end. We need organized activity 24/7. But I just can't keep them active and organized to that extent. So now my cute, cozy home is just small. Small and very cramped.
I needed a glass of wine. I needed to sit and get away from the kids. I needed to get some laundry done, rotated, folded... sink emptied, dishwasher emptied, garbage emptied. I headed to the basement to tackle the laundry, noticed that the small plastic garbage bag was full and that the empty bottle of detergent and bleach should be tossed into the recycling bin. Back up to the garage I went. Recyclables in. I opened the lid to the garage and screamed like I had never screamed before.
I screamed as though I was being attacked. Or eaten alive. And maybe, just maybe, this was worse. As I opened the lid to the garbage, hundreds, and I mean hundreds of maggots appeared out of nowhere. HUNDREDS of them. Ugh. I screamed and I screamed. I cried and I cried. Really this was too much too bear. I hate bugs. I have an extraordinary fear of things that crawl. Worms terrify me. Yes they do! Now imagine a maggot. Imagine hundreds of them pouring out of the lid of my garbage can!
The children heard me and came running to the garage door. I called my ex husband for advice. Bleach. Kill them with bleach. I was out of bleach. Dammit. So Christopher grabbed the can of Raid and went to town with it. For a short while I thought we were going to asphyxiate our own selves! He actually seemed sort of interested in the ugly white creatures. He sprayed and I swept the dead ones out on to the driveway. No way in Hell I wasn't going to suck those suckers up in my vacuum! No way! Ew gross! Those little suckers are sure hard to sweep up. Eventually I think we killed a good many. We dragged the garbage can out to the end of the driveway and left it there, lid on tightly. Raid in there. We walked away. Fingers crossed. That was seriously the most disgusting thing I have ever ever had to deal with. Once back inside I ignored the dirty laundry, dirty dishes and everything else that needed to be done. I went right to the fridge, took out the wine and poured myself a very, very large glass.
And now a little bit of advice to you. After you empty your garbage cans spray them down with bleach and disinfectant to prevent any nasty flies from getting in there to lay his little and nasty eggs!
Have a great weekend... I need another drink just from reading this!
XOXO
We had a lovely day planned so I was hopeful that after my lousy morning things may start to turn around. This does happen from time to time. And so after what I thought was really a nice lunch at a fabulous pizzeria in town with good friends, we headed off to a small local paint your own pottery studio. Before-hand I told each child that they could choose a piece up to and no more than $15. That and studio time would cost about $50, I explained. I believe in teaching them the value of a dollar. They need to know how far the dollar goes, what they can get for it and and, more importantly that each little dollar spent here and there all adds up. When I grew up money was never discussed. I didn't really understand much about it or how to balance a checkbook until I was out on my own and even still it was sort of a struggle. Now, with a tight budget I do not want to forbid the children from doing everything, but they need to know that sometimes we all need to make compromises. The pottery was a perfect example.
In past years I would have been more generous with the pieces they painted, perhaps even let them paint two pieces, but times are different now and this is our new normal. And I do not think that what I am doing is a bad thing at all. Kids need rules and boundaries. The older two understand fully and rarely ask for things. The youngest is not this way, however. And I do get it. He doesn't understand and so I must give him some slack on that front, however, when I say No, I firmly mean No. At the pottery studio Alexander couldn't make up his mind. There was something he had really been looking forward to painting and the studio was out of stock. He was so disappointed and I felt terribly so we all started to make other suggestions and give him other ideas. He liked none of them. He was upset and getting a bit bratty about it. Then his eyes spied this enormous porcelain Christmas tree. THAT's what he wanted to paint! That's what he would paint! Until we learned that it was a $50 tree and pardon me, but no way in hell was I going to allow him to paint a $50 tree! And so more pouting and whining ensued, and the whining was really escalating and I tried my best to reason with him and keep my cool because we were out in public but I was getting more and more irate by the minute. So finally he agreed to paint something. He said he wanted to paint a travel mug for my coffee. I was delighted! Excited. I love the things my kids make for me! And suddenly we were into the second hour of pottery. Alexander was now painting happily. Once all was said and done I went up to pay for the three pieces the kids had painted only to learn that their three small pieces cost me over $75! For real!
Suddenly Alexander wants to give the travel mug to his father. I agreed it would be a perfect Christmas present, but no, Alexander didn't want to give it to him for Christmas... No, no, of course not! Because Alexander is in the mood lately to be difficult and challenging. But after all that I really didn't want to give my mug away. I really didn't want to give my $75 mug away for no apparent reason! Alexander had yet another hissy fit. This time older sister spoke up. She told him to stop it and to stop it now. She told him that he should be grateful of the things I do for him. And that if his father wanted a mug he could take them all to paint pottery. I thought she handled that perfectly. And she actually managed to get him to be quiet for a moment.
We got home shortly thereafter. I think it was 4:00 and yet it felt like 7:00. It was one of those days you wished would just be over. At the gas station on the way home I split my nail down the middle. Do you have any idea how hard that is to fix? Once back at home I went right to my desk to get the crazy glue. It wasn't there. Of course it wasn't. Nothing is ever where it belongs. I have told the children again and again and again to lay off my things. But they don't. Someone got a hold of the crazy glue. I know exactly which Someone it was. The same Someone that somehow got a hold of the key to the safe deposit box at the bank. The safe deposit box that has all the children's IDs that we need to register them for school. And finally I could stand it no longer and meltdown number 3 ensued. Whoever said that yelling was not effective was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Dead wrong. Someone understood and understood clearly. Within minutes my crazy glue AND the safe deposit box key appeared, allegedly, from nowhere.
It's been a long, hot and humid week. We're all at wits' end. We need organized activity 24/7. But I just can't keep them active and organized to that extent. So now my cute, cozy home is just small. Small and very cramped.
I needed a glass of wine. I needed to sit and get away from the kids. I needed to get some laundry done, rotated, folded... sink emptied, dishwasher emptied, garbage emptied. I headed to the basement to tackle the laundry, noticed that the small plastic garbage bag was full and that the empty bottle of detergent and bleach should be tossed into the recycling bin. Back up to the garage I went. Recyclables in. I opened the lid to the garage and screamed like I had never screamed before.
I screamed as though I was being attacked. Or eaten alive. And maybe, just maybe, this was worse. As I opened the lid to the garbage, hundreds, and I mean hundreds of maggots appeared out of nowhere. HUNDREDS of them. Ugh. I screamed and I screamed. I cried and I cried. Really this was too much too bear. I hate bugs. I have an extraordinary fear of things that crawl. Worms terrify me. Yes they do! Now imagine a maggot. Imagine hundreds of them pouring out of the lid of my garbage can!
The children heard me and came running to the garage door. I called my ex husband for advice. Bleach. Kill them with bleach. I was out of bleach. Dammit. So Christopher grabbed the can of Raid and went to town with it. For a short while I thought we were going to asphyxiate our own selves! He actually seemed sort of interested in the ugly white creatures. He sprayed and I swept the dead ones out on to the driveway. No way in Hell I wasn't going to suck those suckers up in my vacuum! No way! Ew gross! Those little suckers are sure hard to sweep up. Eventually I think we killed a good many. We dragged the garbage can out to the end of the driveway and left it there, lid on tightly. Raid in there. We walked away. Fingers crossed. That was seriously the most disgusting thing I have ever ever had to deal with. Once back inside I ignored the dirty laundry, dirty dishes and everything else that needed to be done. I went right to the fridge, took out the wine and poured myself a very, very large glass.
And now a little bit of advice to you. After you empty your garbage cans spray them down with bleach and disinfectant to prevent any nasty flies from getting in there to lay his little and nasty eggs!
Have a great weekend... I need another drink just from reading this!
XOXO
Jessica
Sending you a virtual hug! Single women & mom's do not have someone right there to give you a hug and say..."Don't worry, it will be all right.
ReplyDeleteYou can do this Jessica! (((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))
ReplyDeleteI'm scared of bugs too. And most other creepy crawly things. A small lizard once appeared in the bathroom where my two year old was on the potty. I had stepped out of the bathroom. I heard him screaming bloody murder and ran in to find him standing on the potty screaming MOMMY MOMMY! Except, the lizard was on the floor between me and him and I ran into the adjacent living room and stood on the coffee table screaming, "Run, Walker, Run." Not one of my most shining moments as a mother. He is now 6 and he still won't use that bathroom alone. Hang in there!
Oh my friend ... Life is surely working on making you stronger. Hang in there , it WILL get BETTER!! and school is just around the corner. Peace will return ...till then a glass of wine, will do wonders!! Sending you hugs ..xo C. HHL
ReplyDeleteMan, that is a crappy day. Hang in there, my friend.
ReplyDeleteWhat worked amazingly well, not that it always did, still proved highly effective on many occasions.
ReplyDeleteDuring one frustrating moment early on, the twins were going at it in wanting something. Finally, I said, in pure frustration "What part of no do you NOT understand? The N or the O. Dead silence.
They never forgot it. They repeat this statement to their friends and family to this day.
Shelley, LOL!!!!
ReplyDeleteEveryone - Thanks! I couldn't sleep last night. I have to go in and disinfect the garbage. I woke up in a panic worried that as soon as the lid was opened all the vermin would slither on out. I have a terrible fear of ANYTHING that crawls. I was up for hours. I am sure this was brought on by the fact that I opened the kitchen cupboard where I keep the garbage to see HUGE ANTS, a dozen or more, racing around inside the plastic liner. I grabbed the raid, drew the strings shut and I do hope I suffocated those little buggers... Sigh...
ReplyDeleteOh My God - I can't even imagine the horror of that day - okay i can minus the maggots - that is just too much to bear
ReplyDelete