life...

Property of The Entertaining House

I was given a blogger award over at my other blog, The Entertaining House. Ordinarily I don't like such awards. Of course I am always flattered to receive them but then you have to pass it along and that's such a stressful thing to me... I hate to leave anyone out. I hate to hurt feelings. But in that award  you had to pass the torch on to 7 bloggers and divulge 7 things about yourself. This was something I could participate in. I love reading about my fellow bloggers. I love learning about them and getting glimpses into their lives. Picking 7 was hard. I could have picked 70! I love reading memoirs and biographies... I just love to learn about people. I find people fascinating.

I struggled with the post. I struggled with revealing 7 things about myself. Not because I'm quiet, shy and reserved - au contraire! I struggled because I am such an open book. I struggled because I have shared stories about my family, my upbringing, my education and my foibles. You really know all there is to know about me. I don't shy away from the truth, the good, the bad and the ugly. I know I am not perfect and there are so many of you out there whose lives parallel my own. I did find 7 things to share. One of them had to do with my wedding dress and so I posted quite a few pictures of me in my dress.

Is it odd, do you think, for me to post about my wedding dress and pictures from my wedding when I am not even 3 months into my divorce? I don't think it is. My wedding was one of the happiest moments in my life. My wedding was magnificent. It was a dream, a fairy tale. My wedding was everything I imagined... and more! Why would I not want to look at pictures. I remember it fondly. That will never ever change. I was happy. Times were good. How could I ever forget that? Why would I ever want to forget that? I looked at some of the pictures with my boys today. They saw their father. They laughed. "Look at Daddy!" My little one shouted. He burst out laughing. My older son then laughed too and said "Yeah, he had a lot of hair back then!" I, naturally, and of course, look exactly the same! This picture was taken 15 years ago. One quarter of my life. That's a lot of time.

I look back on that day, June 14th 1997 and remember it fondly. Why shouldn't I? I was surrounded by my family, some of whom are no longer with us. I was surrounded by close friends. I had everything I ever wanted on that day. It was a perfect moment in time. We should all be so lucky to have a perfect moment in time. And times change and people change and we grow apart and distant but that shouldn't take away from a magnificent day. That shouldn't cause wonderful memories to fade. These photos are a part of me and my past. To a certain degree they define me, who I was, who I am... and even who I will be. I can taste the food and hear the music. It's as clear as ever. Why would I ever want these images to fade?

I read an article recently from a British publication. The article was about what divorced couples did with their wedding rings. Some stories were touching others were not. I was taken by one story of a newly ex-husband and ex-wife. Together they walked to the ocean, to the spot where they became one, together they took their wedding bands and tossed them out to sea. It was touching. It was symbolic. It tugged at my heart strings. Naturally, as you can imagine, other stories were not so kind. Not so sentimental. I laughed at a few.

I have my wedding bands. I have two of them. Two thin, plain gold bands that I wore together, mostly alone, sometimes stacked with my eternity band and sometimes stacked with my eternity band and engagement ring. I know exactly where my wedding bands are. I know which blue box, in which drawer. They are resting together. I have no desire and no plan to ever give them up. While the marriage may be no longer, I cannot forget what they stood for, what they represented. They stand for hope and unity and all things good. The marriage produced three good things... three wonderful things. How can I pretend it never existed or that nothing good came from it? I have my eternity band as well. I have no plans of ever giving it up. I know where she is as well... in which box, in which drawer. Maybe one day I'll pass this on to my daughter. Maybe I'll just keep it for myself. A token. A gentle reminder of good memories and days past.

What did you do with your rings? What do you plan on doing with them?

XOXO

Jessica