Can men and women ever truly be close friends?

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It's that whole When Harry Met Sally thing... Can men and women ever be just friends... like best friends... without sex getting in the way and ruining it? I think that yes, it's very possible, but this type of relationship, like all others really requires work and honesty. Sometimes the gender difference can be tricky and get in the way. But regardless, friends are friends and, in my book, there's nothing better, nothing more important than a good friend who you can rely on... count on... pour your heart out to... bare your soul to... If you're lucky to have one of those, never ever ever let him or her go.

The thing about friends is the honesty. True friends are those who allow you to be you, who love you and accept you for who you really are. There are no false pretenses. There's no jealousy. Everything is genuine. I think sometimes men and women can be more genuine and more honest than women can with women. We see things differently. We express things differently, but we can be as real and open as any two people can and as close as two girls, or women can be, I just don't think women can ever be as close and women and men can be. Girls tell each other everything, sure, but I have a couple of male friends, one of whom is really close and I tell him everything. That's right, everything. I may not share details the way I do with my female friends, but I do tell him everything. And what I love about that is hearing his point of view which can be very different from mine. We have a brutal honesty. I don't sugar coat with him. I don't feel I have to. And he doesn't with me. I don't have to worry about sparing his feelings. And he doesn't have to with me, either. It's refreshing to have this kind of friendship. It truly is. He listens and doesn't judge. His opinion is unbiased as it may be if he was a brother. I can tell him things that others can't. Like when he's being ridiculous, or a jerk, or that he needs to move on. I can be the greatest support system. I'm there for him the way a girlfriend or potential girlfriend (his) may not be because I have no ulterior motive. I can listen and be there. I can offer my two cents or shut up. And he does all this for me too. Even though men think differently from women, I love to hear his perspective on things. I run so very much by him as he does by me. I offer him, not only my advice, but unyielding support and encouragement. As opposed to someone he's dating, I'll always be there for him and he for me. Of course we make time for those we are dating, but he knows, and I know, that we're always there for each other and I know he'll come and help me out in a moment's notice, as I will do for him.

We have no intimate feelings towards each other... I know that's what many of you are wondering. We dated for a short while... We tried, but in the end we both realized that we were better off as friends. It wasn't a hard realization at all and the transition was seamless. Are there feelings of intimacy? I can safely, and happily say that no there are not and that's what keeps our friendship real and honest. It's what keeps us real.

I don't think, however, that if feelings of intimacy do exist, that men and women can just be friends. Something will get in the way... feelings will get in the way. They absolutely will. I see this now... I see someone pining for him though they both pretend it's not the case. It is the case and because of that their friendship won't ever be what our friendship is. It simply cannot. Feelings have gotten hurt. Feelings will continue to get hurt. I can say this to him honestly and objectively. I have been and am very friendly with many of my exes. But I do not have the same friendship with them as I do with him. I can call them and ask for advice and favors but I cannot confide in them the same way. I cannot tell them my secrets, fears, share with them my passions. Nor would I necessarily want to hear theirs...

The male-female bond is an incredible thing. I value my friendship with him more than anything. We recently had a fight. I did not agree with something he was doing and he didn't agree with my disagreeing to it... (does that make sense?!) and we stopped talking to each other for a couple of days. We were lost without each other. Not in the sense of a broken heart, but in the sense that we're so accustomed to sharing so much, checking in with one another, following up on dates, events, meetings, projects... We're such a presence in one another's lives that I felt as though I had lost a best friend when we weren't talking. And you know what, although it was a brief period of time, I did lose a best friend. Indeed I did...

He picked up the phone and called me first. I explained why I was so upset and we talked things through. I am so glad to be able to talk with him throughout my busy day. We both have dates tonight. I can't wait to hear about his and tell him about mine. That's how it goes. That's how true male-female friendships go. They are rare indeed, but they are amazing!

Have you ever had a close guy friend?

Have a wonderful, fabulous, magnificent Monday!

XOXO

Jessica