Why you gotta be so mean?

It takes a lot of time and energy to be mean and spew nasty comments and start rumors. In the end what does it accomplish? Does it make you feel better? I can't imagine that it does. We're different creatures. We have different ways of thinking and different ways of living. It's what makes the world go round. Our differences are what make us learn and grow, strive and thrive...

I stopped by a dear friend's blog this morning. I hadn't paid her a visit in a long time and was feeling guilty. These days have been busy and, well, reading blogs is just not on my list of priorities these days. I stop by when I can and lend support when I can. I stopped by this particular blog after she posted an updated post on Facebook. I had no idea she ever had any negative comments... and I have no idea why anyone would want to post a negative comment on her blog... which is lovely and always very happy...

I write this post from experience. I write this to speak out on behalf of all bloggers, of everyone in general who has been unkindly and unnecessarily slapped in the face by meanness.

I first started this blog in December. I had been chronicling my life over at The Entertaining House, but felt that my personal life really needed to be separated and that my other blog was not the right forum. The comments and feedback were tremendous, kind, loving and supportive. People wanted to hear my story and I was more than happy to share. I am more than happy to share. My life is an open book. I have nothing to be ashamed of. Of course I have made mistakes. We all have. Mistakes make us grow. They make us stronger and they are the greatest learning vehicle ever. I am who I am.I am very real and I speak my mind. This is my forum... my platform, a public journal if you will. It is not my diary and I will not air out my dirty laundry. I will share my stories as openly and honestly as I am able because so many of you are traveling parallel paths, or have done so, or will do so... or simply because there are lessons to be learned in life and we are all learning and growing and evolving and we can all learn and share from each other.

If I am frustrated I will tell you.
If I am sad I will tell you.
If I am happy I will tell you.
If I feel overwhelmed I will tell you.
If I feel triumphant I will tell you.

Right now I am stupefied. I don't understand why people feel the need to be mean. What do people have to gain when they badmouth others? Is it an insecurity thing? Do people feel better about themselves when they speak poorly of others, spreading rumors or sharing private matters that have no right to be shared beyond two people? Negativity and meanness are exhausting and require so much energy - energy that can and should be channeled into good.

If we can't speak kind words perhaps we shouldn't speak at all.

Unkind words hurt.  They sting. They burn. I know this first-hand. I have been the recipient of unkind words more in the past year than all the other years of my life put together. But I know this. I know I am a good person. I know I am a kind person. I have a big heart. I have a loving heart.

You may not think like I do. You may not see the world as I do. But you have not walked in my shoes.
All I ask is that you not judge, just be a friend and be supportive and if, by chance, you may have talked poorly about a friend... a sister, a spouse, a lover, an ex, that maybe you'll find it in your heart to apologize, or at least to stop.

My goals in life are to live and be happy... to be the best mother I can be to my children... to be the best person I can be... to follow my heart and my dreams and to be successful. That's all... it's not too complicated. Life is short. Life is wonderful. Life should be filled not with anger, hate, resentment and animosity.

So, please do me a favor today... pay it forward... make someone's day... make someone happy...
What will you do to make this happen today?

XOXO

Jessica