You are beautiful! (Pass it on!)

People come and go. People enter your life for a reason. I am a firm believer of this. Some come and stay a while and some stop by for a quick visit, some just run through for a brief moment. But people come to us for a reason. Maybe they're there to teach us something - about them, about us, about the world around us. I'm a people person and always have been. People fascinate me both from an anthropological point of view and from a personal point of view. We all see things differently, act differently and react differently. It's human nature. It's what makes the world go round. And as my mother used to tell me repeatedly as a child, the world would be a boring place if we were all alike.

There are people that I meet and we bond instantly. There are those who share common interests and those who don't. I love to learn new things. About myself, about the world around me and others. I love nothing more than a meaningful conversation. While I'm not really one for controversy, I love to be challenged in a debate. I'm not the type of person who sees just black and white. I can see the shades of grey in between and I can see color all around. Teach me. Challenge me. I love it. I'm open to new ideas and experiences. And perhaps we're discussing a topic and we don't see eye to eye, that's fine. I love it! I want to see things from your point of view, I may not agree, but I want to see what makes you tick and what rocks your world.

Such a person entered my life recently. Such a person entered my world with the force of a whirling dervish. This person was full of life and passion. This person was smart and intelligent and brought much to the table and my world. This person challenged me. This person debated me. This person broadened my world on an intellectual and personal level. This person forced me to open my eyes and see things I hadn't seen in a long time. This person forced me to see the good in myself.  This person pointed out qualities in me I hadn't even paid attention to before. This person built me up and put me up on a pedestal. And I admit it, it felt good. No, it felt great. It felt wonderful. It's funny that how we feel often is based upon how we react to how others perceive us, or seem to perceive us. I suppose it's simply human nature. Someone tells you that you look beautiful or that you have a lovely smile and you believe them and you feel exactly how they make you feel. You walk a little taller. Stand a little straighter. This happened to me. And then suddenly, as quickly as this person had entered my life with such compliments and praise, this person left... and left me falling long and far, so very far, from the top of that pedestal. I felt lousy. Horrible. Awful. I had been on a 48 hour high where I had never felt so smart, beautiful, funny, sassy, different. And then, suddenly and out of the blue, this person said a few words, that in retrospect had less to do with me than the person telling them to me, that left me feeling lower than low. I felt small. I felt used. Rejected. Dumb. Ugly.




I moped around for a couple of days. I listened to sad songs. I did a lot of thinking. I thought about our conversations and our time together and it made no sense to me. But it didn't have to. It was simply something that happened. It was a mere speck on my timeline. And yet, it was an important one. I had no regrets. There's not much I regret, actually. As with everything else it was a learning experience. I did learn a lot about myself those couple of days. I liked what I saw and I liked what I learned.  What I was not happy with was how I had been made to feel so wonderful and then so awful.

When I'm with people who make me feel special, beautiful, and smart I truly feel that way about myself. I see the difference when I look in the mirror. So after catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror when I was feeling down in the dumps, I saw my hair as mousey, and my complexion as grey and not pink. And I wondered how could I possibly look so different? Nothing had changed about me. Nothing at all. I brushed my hair. I stood tall. I looked into my eyes. I hadn't changed. I was still me.  I was still pretty, witty, funny and smart and how dare someone dictate how I feel about myself.

Why do we do that? Why do we base how we feel based on other people's perceptions. How do we let our self esteem falter like that? I won't make that mistake again. I am smart and silly and snarky and beautiful and passionate and inquisitive and nothing and nobody will ever change that. I fell. I dusted myself off and I got right back up!

via Pinterest

I hope you all can learn something from my little lesson.

XOXO

Jessica