Chasing rainbows

I'm not sure where this will lead me but I'm here and running with it. We'll see where my thoughts take me. I'm overdue, long overdue, for an entry. Many of you are checking and I feel as though I've let you down. I've been busy. The holidays were all about the children and as soon as January came I had to shift gears and think about me, about my career and projects. I've been approached by several and have turned opportunities down. I have turned down things that I have felt to be not right, not where I want to be heading and not where I want my company to be heading. Some people want my work for free while others want it for not much more. I'm done sharing my talents and getting nothing in return. I'll do so, gladly, if there is something in it for me - if I can grow as a person and in talent. After all, I wouldn't have come as far as I have without it - without the opportunities afforded to me by a few... exposure is key. Appreciation is key. Staying true to my talents and passions is key. And when they merge it's a wonderful thing and sometimes is just as much so as a paycheck. That said any future endeavors will be paid. Or turned down.

And I do have a couple of paid clients. Clients who have given me an opportunity because they too have been in my situation or are in my situation. Getting a new business off the ground is not easy and I admire and respect all who have done so, especially when those who have done so are women. Shifting gears mid-life is hard enough to do without other responsibilities or distractions, but it's another thing entirely to try to do while raising a family and going through a divorce. I appreciate, to no end, the faith and trust these people have given me to help promote their products, and the chance to prove myself. It feels amazing to have them pleased with your work and to share with others how pleased they are. I love what I do. I love creating. I love writing. I love working with others. I love the positive feedback. I love knowing that I am somehow helping someone and somehow making a difference. I love the positive feedback. I do not expect success to happen overnight. I know it will take time and hard work and perseverance. But when you like what you do, when what you choose to do is a passion, is it work at all? When the thing you love to do gives you such pleasure, is it really work? I'll be helping a new client this week. I look forward to seeing what we can create together. I look forward to yet another friendship that will come from this.

And I know there are naysayers. I know there are people who are skeptical and filled with doubt. And there are people who are supportive. These are the people I am choosing to listen to. As well as that little voice inside my head. As well as my instincts.Yes, my instincts. They have never been wrong and yet so many times I have opted not to listen to them. And all those times I was so very wrong. Well, I have learned my lessons. I am listening now. I know that if something doesn't feel right I won't do it. I'm not going to settle. I will keep chasing rainbows. And, if by chance, I decide there is a time to move on, then I will and I will do so gladly and happily.  I will know that I have done all that I could have done. I will know that I have given my all. I will not feel a loss or despair or sadness. Instead,  I will feel glad - so very glad - that I even had the opportunity to try. The thing is we all do. There's no reason why any of us can't follow our hearts and pursue our passions. There's no reason why we can't dream and do what we want when we grow up. After all, isn't that what we tell our children? Don't we tell them that they can be anything they so desire as long as they work hard at what they want to be? Well, what kind of role models are we if we don't practice what we preach?

Ok, so who's going to start chasing rainbows with me?!

XOXO

Jessica