Overboard
We all go through terrible and challenging times at some point in our lives.We all have those moments when we truly wonder whether everything really will be alright.. Whether we will weather the storm... We all have those moments when life becomes so overwhelming it takes control of your soul, your spirit, your being and paralyzes you. We all have those moments when life seems too big, too dark, too scary. It's so easy to get tossed among the enormous waves that pull us down one moment and spit us out another, never giving us a moment to catch our breath as we try with our might to tread water. When something monumental happens we are first incredulous, then we become terrified before becoming completely numb. It is also not uncommon to go from state of shock to depression and back a few times before something happens that allows us to snap out of it and see the light. The light could be as something as simple and wonderful as the sun shining after several dreary days of rain. It could be a phone call from a dear friend. It could be a memory. It could even be nothing at all.
I've had a rotten few days to tell you the truth. I've been in those stormy, raging waters. I've been tossed and bounced around wondered if I'd ever come up for air. I think I had never, in all my life, felt as down, scared or confused as I had in those past couple of days. In short, I've been sailing the Titanic. My ship has sunk. The kids and I are going down and I must somehow keep us afloat and get us safely over to the shore. I've lost everything. House, car and any semblance of safety. Reality has been a slap in the face. And despite this I must keep swimming. I must keep my kids healthy and safe.
I'm at the end of the journey. My friends all tell me that I'm going through the worst part of it and after this storm passes, the skies will clear and there will be sunshine and rainbows on my horizon. I'm not stopping, giving up, or turning back. I'm proud that I've gotten this far. I'm proud that, for the most part, I have handled myself with grace and dignity. I'm proud that I went after something that I wanted... something that I knew was important.
My journey has been hard at times but it has had its rewarding moments as well. I've learned a lot. I've cried a lot but I have also laughed a lot. I gained strength, more than I ever thought I had. I do think I have become a better person through this process. I've learned not to run away from challenges or fears - and that's something, which until now, I've done my entire life. I've held my head and chin high and even when I thought I could stand it no more I did. I must say that I am proud of myself.
I have a mess (a disaster really) ahead of me. But I've shed my tears and wiped them off. I'm now braced for the road that lies ahead. My new journey will require me to be strong but I know that I am strong, like the Little Engine that Could. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I will get over the mountain. I will deliver food and toys to all the good little boys and girls on the other side. And one day very soon, I will say I knew I could. I knew I could. I knew I could!
I recently came across this quote by Audrey Hepburn. I believe it speaks volumes.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happiest girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
XOXO
I've had a rotten few days to tell you the truth. I've been in those stormy, raging waters. I've been tossed and bounced around wondered if I'd ever come up for air. I think I had never, in all my life, felt as down, scared or confused as I had in those past couple of days. In short, I've been sailing the Titanic. My ship has sunk. The kids and I are going down and I must somehow keep us afloat and get us safely over to the shore. I've lost everything. House, car and any semblance of safety. Reality has been a slap in the face. And despite this I must keep swimming. I must keep my kids healthy and safe.
I'm at the end of the journey. My friends all tell me that I'm going through the worst part of it and after this storm passes, the skies will clear and there will be sunshine and rainbows on my horizon. I'm not stopping, giving up, or turning back. I'm proud that I've gotten this far. I'm proud that, for the most part, I have handled myself with grace and dignity. I'm proud that I went after something that I wanted... something that I knew was important.
My journey has been hard at times but it has had its rewarding moments as well. I've learned a lot. I've cried a lot but I have also laughed a lot. I gained strength, more than I ever thought I had. I do think I have become a better person through this process. I've learned not to run away from challenges or fears - and that's something, which until now, I've done my entire life. I've held my head and chin high and even when I thought I could stand it no more I did. I must say that I am proud of myself.
I have a mess (a disaster really) ahead of me. But I've shed my tears and wiped them off. I'm now braced for the road that lies ahead. My new journey will require me to be strong but I know that I am strong, like the Little Engine that Could. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I will get over the mountain. I will deliver food and toys to all the good little boys and girls on the other side. And one day very soon, I will say I knew I could. I knew I could. I knew I could!
I recently came across this quote by Audrey Hepburn. I believe it speaks volumes.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happiest girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
XOXO
Jessica
He took your CAR??? I'm assuming he was making payments on it, and was ordered to provide you another one (not as expensive) that's been PAID FOR? Consider yourself lucky, because my ex was supposed to continue making the monthly payments on mine, and didn't, and it cost me another $17,000 in monthly payments when I should have been puting that money towards the welfare of the children and myself. Screw the house though, Jess (excuse my French); who needs those awful memories of unhappiness? It DOES get better. There IS a rainbow at the end of the storm......
ReplyDeleteNo he didn't take the car. I have it. And the payments that I cannot even begin to afford. It will all sort itself out. Somehow. I have faith. (I think!!!) xoxo
ReplyDeleteYour sad musings really moved me, you sound like you have found some strength at the bottom of the barrel!! I too have had my very dark days in the past - no one knows what it is like to walk in your shoes. Don't expect anyone to understand, its just plain depressing trying to make others understand. It took courage to write that piece, remember that, leaving the dark places buried is dangerous, you dared put your fear down in words, that's huge!!! With kindess and love, Mally
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mally. Your kind words mean a great deal to me!
ReplyDeleteJess, you will get through this. I know you to be an incredibly strong woman who will find her strength. You're a fighter, a mama lion who will do anything to protect and care for her cubs. I understand you more than you can imagine and have been in your shoes. But it does get better. You will get through this.
ReplyDelete